If all-new Shipping Wars episodes taught us anything it’s that it’s possible to successfully transport the world’s largest water pipe, a robotic animal rock band and a half dozen tornado shelters. Dilapidated horse barn? Not so much.
11-Foot Water Pipe
Marc Springer won the episode’s first shipment, an 11-foot water pipe traveling from Austin to the WeedMaps convention in Denver. This was a promotional pipe not intended for use. With that cleared up, this extremely delicate, single-piece pipe was commissioned by the Stoner’s Cookbook to be a convention centerpiece. At pickup, Marc assumes the shipper will be providing a case for transport. He assumes incorrectly. Enter awkward silence. And by the way, a round, glass cylinder placed openly and unprotected on the bed of a flatbed truck that’s going down the highway doesn’t travel real well, so something had to be done. After Marc initially blows some smoke about not having packaging (he ends up building a crate), he then blows a tire en route to the convention (he finds someone to change it). Both result a compressed time frame for delivery, putting Marc at risk of taking a bit hit in the form of reduced pay at delivery. Fortunately, he delivered the pipe crystal clear and free of any damage, just as he did with the antique truck side load he picked up along the way.
Total Profit After Expenses: $4,660 for a 4-day run
Large Horse Barn
Moving from bong to barn, Jessica Samco won the second shipment of the episode. This large horse house was heading to a horse rescue center for a same-day delivery in Pennsylvania. The non-profit rescue organization couldn’t afford a new barn so took advantage of getting this one donated. With several new rescue horses on the way, Jessica was under pressure to get this floorless, aged structure cut from the ground, on her flatbed and delivered. But the barn had other ideas. As she started driving from the pickup location, Jessica noticed it was moving and twisting on her truck causing her to cancel the shipment completely. She simply wasn’t comfortable putting herself and others on the road at risk while driving down the highway. This was absolutely the right call. After she delivers the bad news to a terribly disappointed director of the horse shelter, she resets the barn and moves on, but not before taking a $750 hit for a crane. Total profit: $0.
Total Profit After Expenses: $0 (-$750)
6 Tornado Shelters
The night’s second episode introduced a new cast member, Chris from Sundance Transport out of New Jersey. Owner of a Class 8 18-wheeler, Chris was introduced to trucking as a kid when he used to ride along with his dad, so this wasn’t his first “road”-eo. In this episode, he catches the show regulars off guard by swooping in to win a great flatbed shipment — 6 Granger ISS Tornado Shelters weighing a total of 7800 lbs — heading to a shelter dealer in Arkansas. The area has been hit by a rash of tornadoes in recent years so these are a hot commodity. They fit an average family and are very durable, able to withstand even the most wicked of storms. One thing they can’t apparently withstand a poor strap job. On load up, Chris unfortunately tightens a thick strap across THE one spot you’re NOT supposed to: the door. It causes it to bend and costs him $250 in repairs, along with a shot to his Class 8 ego. On delivery, after the customer complains of a few nicks and scratches on the shelters and Chris reminds him that these are going in the ground, he gets the final shelter delivered, even making a special delivery for $250 to make up for cost of the earlier repairs.
Editor’s note: Is it just us, or does that person peering out of the tornado shelter look EXACTLY like George W. Bush? Nice jeans, Dub-ya.
Total Profit After Expenses: $3940 for 2-day run
‘Rock-afire Explosion’ Animatronic Rock Band
Jennifer’s usually the go-to animal transporter on the show, but this episode took it to a whole new level. This robotic animal rock band — Rock-afire Explosion — was made up of bears, gorillas, and other animatronic characters heading to a grand opening in Roswell, Georgia. The owner was super sensitive to his motley crew’s travel conditions and timely arrival. And as we’ve seen repeatedly over the years, nothing goes better together than a sensitive customer, lots of moving parts and Jenn’s devil-may-care attitude. The shipment included not only the characters, but an entire load of the “band’s” equipment that would make even the saltiest of roadies proud. After a blown tire puts Jennifer behind schedule, she discovers one of the animatronic characters has some damage and is dinged $200 for damages. In the end, everything works as it should and there was much rejoicing. Long live rock ‘n roll!
Total Profit After Expenses: $2014 for 2-day run
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