Moving with younger kids
Your major concern with younger children will be comfort; kids become
accustomed to and rely on familiar people, places, and routines. With a move
come changes to all these things, so it will be your job to manage these
disruptions to their "regular" life and help them cope.
Moving with teens
Older kids will have less trouble with the actual moving process and more
difficulty letting go of social bonds. Older children will worry about losing
friends, so be sure to constantly reassure them that their friendships will not
end with the move.
Helping kids before, during, and after the
move
No matter the age of your kids, it is important to get them excited about
moving and involved in your move. There are several ways to ease your
children through the moving process before,during, and after the move.
By keeping in mind their concerns, you can help guide them through the
difficult process of letting go of their old home. Moving day is made much
easier if you manage your children's time and energy effectively. Finally, it
is your responsibility to introduce your family to their new community and jump
start your kids' lives in their new neighborhood.
Telling
Kids About Your Move
How you approach telling your kids
about the household move can determine how they react. You can direct your
children’s reactions to the moving news by setting a good example.
Tell
each child individually
You will be dealing with a range of
reactions when moving with kids, from your toddler to your teenager, and need
time to address each child individually. Schedule a time with each of your
children to tell them about the move. When you talk to your children:
- Be very clear as to where, when, and why you are moving
- Let them react as they choose, even if they react
negatively
- Ask them to write down any concerns, thoughts, or
questions
- Remind them you are willing to discuss the move
individually or as a famil
Schedule
a family meeting
Once you've told everyone, schedule
a family meeting to discuss the news. Ask everyone to bring down a
written sheet of paper with their thoughts, concerns, and questions. When you
start:
- Set a few ground rules: No interruptions, no mumbled comments, and no making
fun.
- Give everyone a turn: Go in a circle and let everyone read their list of concerns.
- Share the floor: Don't let one person own the discussion. Anyone should be able to chime
in, even the little ones.
- Stay positive: Don't dismiss your kids' worries, but try to keep the move in a positive
light.
- Delegate tasks: Let your children know exactly how you expect them to help.
Stay
available
As a parent, you should guide your
children through these changes, so make it clear they are your first priority.
The moving process can be a great experience. If you stay positive, happy, and
helpful, your kids will follow suit.
Moving
with Children - Before the Move
Tell kids ASAP
Even if your move isn't final, let
your whole family know of your plans. The earlier you tell your children about
the move, the more time you have to help them adapt.
Let
them participate in planning
All family members can help with
every part of the moving process. While you may not want to take younger
children house-hunting, older children will probably want to play an active
role in choosing their new house or apartment. Show your family pictures of
homes you are looking at and be sure to explain the choices you make.
Get
them excited about the new house and city
Go online and research your new
city. What are some special places or events that they can attend in the new
city? Ask each child to pick out one thing they would like to do or see after
they move.
Also, enthusiastically describe the
positive aspects of their new home. A great way to do this is to begin letting
each child plan his or her new room. Ask how they would like to rearrange their
furniture. Will they get to redecorate? If so, take them shopping for new
comforters, paint colors, or rugs. Fueling positive anticipation will help
making moving with kids easier.
Create
a moving kit
Make the move a special event by
giving your kids a small kit for all the fun things they will do before the
move. Their special moving kit can include:
- Information about your new city
- Pictures of your new house or apartment
- A disposable camera
- An address book
- Fun moving supplies, like markers and labels
Visit
special places
Your kids will be leaving behind
their friends and the familiar places where they eat, play, and learn.
Take final trips to favorite restaurants, parks, the zoo, and other special
places in your town. Don't forget to take lots of pictures!
Moving
with Kids - During the Move
Say
goodbye to your house
Before household movers show up or
you begin to load the moving truck, walk through the house with your children
and say goodbye to your old home. Remember special events, like birthday
parties, that took place in each room.
Also, let kids say goodbye to the stuff
they didn't like about the old house, like scary noises (for the little ones)
or a tiny, shared bathroom (for the older kids). This will help them let go of
their old house and make a positive transition to their new home.
Create
an essentials box
Each member of your family should be
given an "essentials" box for the day of the move. Once you've packed
an extra set of clothes and some toiletries, give your children freedom to fill
the box as they like.
Special blankets, favorite stuffed
animals, movies, books, pictures, and toys are some things your kids may want
to put in their essentials box. When you arrive, unpack these items immediately
to make it feel more like home.
Let
them do something else
Babies and school age children are
distracting during the moving process. Consider hiring a babysitter or
letting a family friend watch them during the day.
Older kids and teenagers can help on
moving day but would probably rather spend their time with friends. Let them go
to an amusement park or the movies while you pack up the house.
Pack
entertainment for the move
If you have a long drive or flight
to your new home, don't forget to pack lots of entertainment for the kids.
Video games, DVDs, music, and toys will make moving with kids easier.
Moving with Kids - After the Move
Don't unpack too fast
Don't put pressure on your family to
unpack immediately. Your "essentials" boxes should contain everything
you need the first day or two. Your family will probably be tired of moving by
the time you arrive, so take some time to relax. Unpack gradually to ease your
children into their new home.
Keep
routines
While it might benefit your kids to
move over a holiday and have some time to adjust, return to regular household
routines as soon as possible. Meal times and bed times should stay the same,
especially for younger kids. Make sure the whole family understands that you
changed houses—not rules, routines, or expectations.
Make
new friends
Help your younger children make new
friends by setting up play dates with the children of co-workers or neighbors.
Their new best friend may be right next door! Also, encourage all your children
to become involved in activities in their new schools. Extracurricular
activities will help your kids meet people with their same interests.
Explore
your new neighborhood
Take
your children for a walk around the neighborhood. Meet new neighbors, visit the
park, or try out a local restaurant. This is as much about introduction as it
is safety; let your kids know about boundaries—where they can and cannot go
alone.